It is a childs inherited right to see and be with their father in equality of seeing and being with their mother.  This should be recognised by the Courts, then one gets a happy balanced child growing up knowing that they are loved equally by both father and mother.


Children should never be used as a form of blackmail against fathers for financial or other reasons.  Mothers should always consider the childs well being first over and above their own selfish needs.


Very often fathers have to fight to see their children and are used as  pawns in this"GAME" and mothers should not be allowed to do this by the Courts.

Why is this idea important?

My idea is important as very often fathers are blackmailed by mothers for financial or other reasons and have to resort to the Courts in order to be able to see their children and this is costly both in time and money as well as being extremely unfair.


This should not be so and the Law should be changed allowing both access when there is no valid reason for not allowing the fatherĀ to see and be with his childĀ  other than the mother bearing some grudge towards him, and as a result the childs best interests are not taken into account i.e. the child needing to be with its father as well as its mother.

3 Replies to “Mothers blackmailing fathers”

  1. I know from firsthand experience that this is true. I have been blackmailed by a woman who claims to have my child but will not let me see him unless i have sex with her. i need help in legally getting my son if he is mine.

  2. The mother blackmails me by saying that if I see the child I MUST pay!
    \”That is the deal you agreed too!\” She says.

    \”Agreement\” I now understand is what a blackmailer will say to justify their blackmailing. \”Agreement\” hides the reality of the threat to destroy you if you deviate from what they want

    The mother knows I do not have enough money to visit her and the newborn – she lives in another part of the country. I cant even afford to pay her for the child because I am an over 50 a foreigner, left in chronic unemployment and having to bring up three kids from my previous marriage where I won full custody.

    She suffers from Asperger\’s. She plans everything. She is constantly rewriting the events of the past.

    She says the pregnancy was a medical accident.

    She told me on the Friday that she was taking a two month rest from her contraceptive coil. I told her that I would not take the risk of having sex with her during that period. She was not happy with that reply. I was honestly getting suspicious that she might try to trick me and get pregnant. I wished I had taken my suspicions seriously at the time. But I convinced myself I was being paranoid.

    I remember two days later that she uncharacteristically asked me for sex in the middle of Sunday afternoon.

    \”When are you going to the Doctor to have the contraceptive coil removed?\” I asked her.

    \”Friday.\” She replied.

    She did not move at all during sex. It was as if she were making a sacrifice of herself.

    \”What was that?\” I asked her. She looked at me blankly.

    \”I enjoyed it.\” She said.

    Then like a Stepford wife, she rose out of the bed, got automatically dressed and went downstairs. I found her with a cigarette and a coffee on the edge of her patio staring contemplatively into the grass of her garden.

    Less than 18 hours later she had a Doctors appointment – 5 days earlier than the time she had told me.

    Her contraceptive coil was removed during the examination. She claimed she had simply forgotten to tell the Doctor she had had sex just hours previously!

    She would later deny that she had even told me that she had an appointment at the Doctor on the following Friday.

    Her story changed. It was a revisionist behaviour I would soon become very used too.

    She now claimed that she was booked for a check-up on the Monday after the Sunday. That I had not asked her when her appointment was.

    \”Look its in my diary, the appointment is there, see Monday!\” That was her proof!

    \”That is not what you said.\” I futility appealed.

    She said that it was a surprise to her when the Doctor asked to remove her contraceptive coil!

    \”But you planned to have it removed.\” I replied.

    \”No, the Doctor decided at that moment that it was for the best as it had been in too long.\” she exclaimed.

    A month later she ended our four and a half year relationship on the very day she took a positive pregnancy test.

    She told me, in ending the relationship, I lived to far away, I was too old, she wanted someone at her level, she did not like who she was with me and that …this was her GIFT!

    \”You planned this? I asked her. \”You planed this!\” I told her.

    She denied it, of course.

    The system is not designed to deal with manipulations like this — before or after. I am just left liable.

    I have appealed to the state authorities. Women occupy the stations of authority . They listen coldly. Some have even laughed or blamed me for not wearing a condom! There is no help.

    My ex has successfully blackmailed into a submission that has left me feeling totally powerless and my life meaningless.

    She says if I make any more effort to contact – I have emailed and telephoned (which she calls harassment and stalking) – I must pay!

    I cannot pay or even afford to visit my child. I want to do all these things. I just do not have any resources.

    I have given my name to the authorities as the father of my child. I will never deny him.

    I am really a responsible adult and parent with sole custody of three. I know I cannot jeopardize the other children financially for one I cannot afford to visit. It is the logic of survival or we all sink.

    It is unfair and cruel that she does this. More so because it comes from someone who I thought was the love of my life. I am still reeling from the unexpected shocks!

    I really do not know what I can do, other than share my story.

    I hope by sharing I may help someone else to not feel as alone, as I do, if they are in the same predicament.

    I am sorry, but I have no solutions. But I wish you well.

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