In an ideal world

1) UCAS Number and password (don't worry it's the same as your UCAS password)?

2) Name and address?

3) Are you a UK citizen aged 18 living at home with both parents?

4) Do any of you claim benefits or are either of your parents not uk citizens? 

4a) Do you earn any money for yourself that is at or above the basic rate?

4b) do you have any children? (if you have at the age of 18 I'm amazed you have the remotest chance of getting the results you would need to get into uni)

If you have answered yes to any of the questions in section 4 please go on to complete the short novel that comprises the rest of this application form. if you answered no to all then you only need to answer questions 5-11

5) Which University?

6) How much are they charging you per year for something which should be free?

7) Do you also require a loan so you can eat as well as sleep while you are at uni?

8) if you want a loan – do you want the max – if not how much?

9) Will you be wanting the grant as well?

10) Mothers earnings before tax? (because we count the money we have already taken off them for things like ermmmm your education)?

11) Fathers earnings?

OK get them to send in their P60 forms for the last full working year – sign at the bottom and you're done





Why is this idea important?

One size fits all is not working – I suspect this is why there are so many problems processing them

! was stunned at the messiness of the finance application forms and not particularly impressed with the staff I spoke to either

Red tape gone mad


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