I blogged this and wrote to my MP Gavin Barwell but even so.  I'll list it here.  The Female Panic thing with men, and the off-side rule.


The letter is as follows:


Dear Gavin Barwell,

There are 2 parts to this.   Reform stuff, and also a personal request:

More feedback for Mental Health Reforms:

Women & Mental Health.  This is also men as well.

Basically, in our society, women and men should be treated equally.
But when Ill and upset this one can get a bit weird.  And if run badly
it DEFINITELY makes the situation worse, and can cause further mental
and emotional injury. Here's the problem.

When a man is angry and upset he may well look firey and scary.  The
joys of normal anger, before you take into account any Mental Illness.
It's just how it is, as sometimes life can be nasty. And it's something
women have to accept if they are to work with us.

However what I have found, reliably, is that women see us as wild
animals in need of control.  Rather than injured men in need of
assistance, understanding, and empathy.  And then out comes the riot
squad for a man who can barely stand who got angry and upset as the
women were too busy panicking over nothing to help him.  And possibly
gossiping, which is highly unprofessional.

This shouldn't be happening.  Yet these women are panicking.  It is
that bad at times.  And here-in lies the problem. You're angry, upset,
can't get a straight answer, and then when you've sustained injury The
Police then treat you like a criminal.  In your own resource center,
where you're supposed to get help.  And you've just spoken to duty.
Who are supposed to be there to help you.  You did nothing, yet you
were guilty by 'gossip'.

Part of being male is testosterone.  It's what makes us hairy and
loving of real ale.  But when upset we look scary.  These women either
have no understanding of this, or do not want to understand. And this
is why 'same-sex treatment' may well be the way out.  Avoid this lack
of understanding completely.

Much as men generally aren't that great at girlie things, women
reliably do not understand us either.  Venus, Mars, and the off-side
rule.  Some stuff is 'man-stuff'.  So the solution I'm thinking is

Male shrinks and nurses for male patients.  Female shrinks and nurses
for female patients.  It's so incredibly offensive to be accused of
being violent as you look scary and have not touched anyone.
Especially when already in distress and trying to get help.

It really cuts deep, and will obviously make your current state of
distress worse.  And it should not be happening if all you need to do
is have a bluster and get it out.  Like with Counseling this is normal
man-stuff.  And can be considered shouting therapy as well.  Yet girls
just don't get it.  Or don't want to be near it.

The analogy I use for race and mental health is really very simple.
There is a reliable trend that has shown up in Police work that makes a
lot of sense.  If little Mrs Gupta has been mugged PC Singh is much
more likely to get a decent response from her, then PC Angus of the
firey red hair and acccent. When you are injured you fall back to
family.  Race is relevant here.  Hence why PC Singh gets somewhere, and
PC Angus makes the tea.  It does work.

My observations also show that gender is relevant here as well.  Women
seem to assume all men are violent thugs far too often.  And this lack
of understanding can cause a lot of harm.  Offense, distress, and also
the with-holding of treatment based on this panic.  It is panic, but it
is harmful.

Sadly this stereotype is based around street violence, and how it is
mostly men.  I hate that stereotype, but even I know it is real enough.
 But the 'innocent until proven guilty' bit seems to be reliably
ignored in mental health.  And that does harm male patients a lot more.
 We're locked up and sedated on opinion so much, and so much of that is
based on gossip.

Gossip which can continue due to a very unreliable complaints system.

I'll also add here how if a lass is ill and jumpy the last thing she
needs is 'raging bull Dave' doing some shouting therapy next door.
Accident or not it could well harm her.

Personal Request:

Could I also request that you write to the Purley Resource Centre and
advise them that I need treating there due to it being a safe location.
 I am flee'ing drug culture, due to what it's reliably tried to do to
me.  And Purley is about as drug free as it gets.  I can't do New Addo
due to the years of abuse up there, and a high BNP Presence.

Croydon Tamworth Road is a Drug & Drink Gang patch I avoid, and
needless to say Westways is deepest darkest 'rough part of' West
Croydon.  Which is also Druggy Territory in my experience.  It was Drug
Culture that wrecked my life ( specifically Girl Gangs as well ), not
the drugs themselves.  Hence why I stay away from patches.

And this is why I chose Purley.  It's very relevant to my case.  For me
rock'n'roll is just a fashion so…  Your assistance would be greatly

The gender thing is important.   Basically it's well known that men and
women don't always 'get' each other.  In psychiatry this seems to be
part of the mistake I'm having to try to survive.  This deeply
offensive inaccuracy, and how it is endemic in my case.

And last I heard you only jailed criminals after trial, and
over-sedation was definitely a bit of a no-no as well.

Many thanks for your time,

Yours sincerely,


Christian Wilcox,


Why is this idea important?

The Location bit I’ve left in here, as there is a regimental style to Mental Health that is sometimes so inflexible it ignores the injury it is supposed to be helping to treat.

Going to the resource centre near The Drug Culture you are trying to flee is obviously bloody risky.  You could end up stabbed, as no-one likes a grass.

A sad reality.

The gender thing is how Mental Health is simply so bureaucratic and clinical it forgets that Humans have emotions.  Which is kinda daft as emotions are a mental thing…

I think the letter says it all really there.  You’re angry, upset, and have not touched anyone.  And you’re still deemed violent and guilty and then lobbed out.  Based on gender.  Due to a panic attack or a lazy staff member.  And that will injure you more, as well as waste the time of The Police.

I’d like to add a point here in how The Police actually did the job very well.  They were called out for an  angry male who was threatening female staff and was mentally ill.  It looked like a ‘restraint job’.  Due to the lies of the bad staff member.

What they got was an angry upset man, who had been unable to get a straight answer due to said bad staff member, and was so chewed up he could barely stand.  After the initial ‘don’t even try it’ stance they soon realised they had been fed bad info.  They talked to me straight, and answered my questions.

It was obvious I could barely stand.  And after a chat outside of the premesis I was forcibly being removed from they also were able see the problem.  A lack of communication.  They had the full team for ‘holding me down’, and the ‘talker’ was clearly marked to make her appear less threatening.  They had clearly taken it very seriously, and included the care side.

And had been set up.  Nice eh?

So full credit to The Police for being smart enough to spot it.  Seriously.  But that dodgy Nurse is part of the problem really.  I still do not know now if I am allowed on the premesis of my own resource centre due to this.

She was Duty staff as well.  And simply faked a sicky to get me thrown out.  A total waste of those officers time.  If I had not worked in the services and recognised what was happening it could have been a lot worse for me.  I was already half in panic, and my legs were failing ( I can collapse ).  And then in came 4 officers with big sticks ( rubber, they’d thought about that one as well.  Wood can leave serious injuries. ),  when I was expecting a couple of PCSO’s, and a nurse to help translate as I got advice on my problem.

I am so glad The Police had more than 2 brain-cells to rub together let’s put it that way.  They spotted it.

Hence why I think they did a very good job in a very crap situation.  This technique is new, so I do feel positive feedback should be provided to them.  It’s not their fault they got a bum wrap.

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